Welcome to Closeness. I work with couples, singles and women in person, in San Diego to help figure out what excites you, what you want and what you crave. Often people don't know what that is anymore, so I specialize in helping you discover what you like, and teaching your partner how to interact with you in a way that is sexually electrifying and sensually thrilling. You'll get real-time, actionable steps, optional and consensual demos, the option to interact with your partner or me and receive guidance that you can apply immediately. I work with traditional and non-traditional relationships and well as hetero and all other diverse couples.

All professionals and top athletes get guidance and coaching from mentors to get them to the next level. My brand of professional, world-class intimacy consulting is no different. Everyone can use a little help in this department, and it all starts by making sure you feel safe, figuring out what has gotten in the way and getting you back to feeling alive again!



Hand sanitizer, 3 HEPA air filtration systems, safe distance, air conditioning, humidification, warmth, high air quality, a manikin for optional demos, a private entrance and clean restrooms.


A 180 degree, rainforest style view of nature with striking floor to ceiling glass windows. Soothing art, multiple pieces of supple to explore, warm mood lighting, a plush velvet sofa, oversized pillows, and more. 


Candles, eucalyptus trees, huge floor length mirrors, essential oils, and your own private exit when you can’t wait to go explore what you learned!  Closeness is an elegant and sensual experience.




$ 250

Per hour

  • No commitment

    Do 60, 90 or 120 minute sessions

    See instant results or clarity


$ 200

Per hour
  • 40 minutes of intimate interactions, demos and exercises

    More doing less talking


$ 225

Per hour
  • Only $225 per hour when you purchase four sessions.
    Four 1 hour sessions or two 90 minute plus one 60 minute session

A $100 deposit is required to secure your first appointment over the phone.
It applies directly to your session fee. Change or cancel your appointment any time up to 36 hours in advance.
All cancellations or rescheduling within 36 hours of your appointment forfeits your deposit.
Accepted Payments: Cash, Venmo, ApplePay, Zelle, CashApp and all major credit cards



 Every session starts by talking to get comfortable and build trust. We make sure everyone feels safe and a relaxed. We take our time. Then, by offering you or you and your partner the opportunity to interact in real time with my guidance, you begin to witness an experiential change in how you feel that happens at an order of magnitude greater than traditional talk only methods.

By engaging and interacting with each other in a safe, sometimes flirty and consensually suggestive ways, you’ll begin to restore emotional trust and sexual attraction as well as chemistry, right before your eyes. 

Get real time feedback and coaching on what excites you or them, shuts them down, opens them up or turns them on in a safe, soothing environment. All interactions are optional, consent based and effective.  Talk only sessions are always an option and again, it is always how we begin each session.


 Like my get-down-to-business podcast, it does not take long to see results. You will leave your first session with a lot of new knowledge, mindset shifts and skills.

Guidance comes in the form of information and exercises you can apply in session or as soon as you walk out the door. If something isn’t clear, we can, with everyone’s consent, show you how to get the result you’re looking for by modeling it, explaining it, or demonstrating it.  A mannequin is also always present if anyone would prefer a demo this way.   

I am your personal advocate.  I take a warm, direct and sensual approach to intimacy that’s pro-women, pro-men, pro-individual and pro-pleasure.  I do not take sides, regardless of who contacted me first. 


When sharing the most intimate parts of your life, it’s important to feel safe and know what does not happen in session. Let’s face it, we’re talking about some pretty exciting stuff here! Sometimes dealing with unexpected emotions around sex and intimacy come up.

First, it is absolutely ok for things to get a little spicy and exciting. This is after all the point of what we are doing here.  If you find yourself suddenly aroused and turned on by your partner, or if it feels like your sexual chemistry is being restored, that means what we’re doing is working! 

However, there are no fluids exchanged. No one needs to get undressed and no one is getting fully naked. No one takes off their underwear. Nothing messy occurs. There is no sex. Our working environment is clean, sanitary and comfortable. 

You may however feel free to touch, or kiss one another based on your comfort level. On a case by case bases you may also interact with me.  You might remove a jacket or sweater or article of clothing if you’re “getting a little warm,”  but we keep it classy, consensual and in good taste. 


Closeness coaching needs to be experienced: 

Tari is THE BEST! I had been researching premarital counseling and intimacy coaching when I discovered Tari’s Closeness podcast. I was immediately hooked and thrilled to find out he offered in-person coaching. From the first communication Tari was welcoming, proactive in accommodating. My husband and I both look forward to our sessions, whether its a couples sessions or one on one. Tari has a superpower in translating my thoughts into a language my husband can understand. He has been able to dissect so many issues, anxieties and behaviors and then transform them with his exercises and expertise. We have been able to work through heavy issues (and comical issues) but always leave his office feeling happy and closer than ever!

Working with Tari has been the best investment in our marriage and myself!

Abi Gault, San Diego


Show me how you make her feel...

I hold space for unique interactions and demos that create trust, excitement and arousal. The way you hold and carry yourself in intimate situations matters, even if you're just walking across the room to her. Understanding the effects your body language has on your partner is key for a great connection.

Do we need to unlayer some bad or old habits like talking too much, or being overly careful when you touch her? Do you use language and expressions that are revolting or shocking to your partner and turn her off? Are there things you're saying or doing that are massively hindering closeness and sex?
We can transform your tone, energy, body language, and approach so that your partner actually responds favorably to you and finds you more attractive. She needs to feel your present, masculine energy and strong desire for her to feel SAFE before she can open up.

Click the heading above to learn more

Next, you'll genuinely connect with your partner

Couples often think foreplay and buildup takes hours, but in my office it can be done in minutes and even seconds. It's about connection. Not with your brain but with your energy, intention and eyes. It's not about logically calculating how to handle this situation or "operating her" the way you would in a business setting. It's not about, "What trick can I use to get sex."

You open her with presence and connection. How's your breathing? Your eye contact? Your presence and comfort within yourself? Using your senses to feel, sense, touch, and savor your partner, I'll teach you all about the domain of the erotic and how to fan the flames of desire.

Eroticism can't flourish in the suffocating space of control, mechanical movement, silliness or overbearing dominance. I'll teach you how to use humor and assertiveness properly so that the encounter can breathe and open up.

Then explore with sensual, or connected touch

Teasing. Playing. Exploring, touching and feeling. Does she like the slow build up, taking your time or are you too slow and she wants more intensity? Being able to read this is HUGE for all couples.

Most women want to start slow then ramp up to the perfect intensity that drives them wild. Other women are calibrated to crave more erotic intensity or overtly sexual advances, while others love to be teased endlessly.

Step by step, play by play, I teach you how to do all this with your partner in REAL time, where you can see her excitement - or rejection - right before your eyes. We work on it until everything lines up as you learn to express healthy levels of dominance, confidence, assertion and sexual leadership.

You will also learn how to dial it back when necessary so she feels comfortable and safe with you. This level of deep listening is unavailable anywhere else.

Click the heading above to get a taste

Finally, follow through and move forward

When your partner feels deeply aroused by you, simply by being in your presence, no words are required. You have built powerful chemistry. She responds by getting wet, and WANTING to do things with you. There is no need for convincing, begging or asking.

It's time to take what you've learned and enjoy the fruits of your labor at home for a hot and passionate evening together. Yes, chemistry can be learned and rediscovered. And yes, I can teach you how to harness it.

Contrary to what many believe, chemistry can be created from nothing. Click the link in the heading to listen to the podcast on this subject.

For those who want to take things a little slower, this is also fine. We move at the pace and comfort level of the person in the room who needs the most care. Everything is 100% optional and consensual, and the results are fantastic!


You heard what THEY said but NOW whaT DO YOU DO?

Do things work for a while then fall back into old patterns? How quickly do things escalate into an argument or go south?  Did you know women can shift from being frustrated and emotional  emotional to being incredibly aroused? In my office, this can often happen within seconds or minutes over and over again. Do you find yourself trying to explain your side at length, but she either tunes out or feels attacked and reacts with negative emotion or just shuts down?  This one issue alone is responsible for so much pain between men and women.

 As your Closeness Coach, I have a rare ability to put into words that which your partner often cannot. I can teach you how to speak to and interact with your woman in a way that lights her up. 


   I can also help mediate all ultra sensitive subjects that you can’t work out at home. I can say the words you struggle to say, help each other gain perspective and navigate topics that are too hot to tackle on your own. I facilitate hard discussions without escalating anxiety.

I speak the languages of love, trust, lust, sensuality, and excitement fluently.  




Often clients who have gone through traditional forms of therapy, sex therapy, psychotherapy and marriage and family counseling, report back that the advice they received was far to general or bland when it comes to the granular detail that intimacy requires. I personally think therapists are a wonderful asset for our mental and emotional health, especially when seeing one on your own. But there are some subjects that may be better suited for someone like me.  When you’re looking for passion, connection, excitement, chemistry and more, I’m your guy.

At Closeness we can get into it. You can share your intimate, sexual thoughts, needs, fantasies, desires and truths without fear of judgement. It’s not overwhelming or too much.  I can help you get through, articulate and manifest subjects that you have never verbalized to another person outside of your relationship, or perhaps even at all. It’s incredible what getting it out and finding  truth can do to help you move forward. 

 In session, I read the room, use language that you’re comfortable with and guide you and your partner in a respectful, sensual and optionally suggestive way that allows transformation to happen in the room or the night of your first appointment. 



SO What does this CLOSENESS guy know anyway?

Let’s talk about the pink elephant in the room: I am a man, helping helping and teaching women how to get in touch with that special part of themselves. I help you discover and get exactly what you may want or need sexually, and I facilitate that journey.  At first you might be unsure or skeptical. I get it. I encourage you to read through some of the countless reviews on Google, Yelp, Facebook, Audible and Apple Podcasts that other women have shared. It’s not easy to share our intimate stories like this publicly, so the fact that these women have, speaks volumes. 


 Indecisiveness is often a part of female nature. So is not knowing yourself. So is not knowing what you want.  Many women want and expect a man to just know for them.  Know what to do, know how to lead, know what excites her.  It’s amazing what calm masculine presence, some leadership, and presence can do to help you get in touch with yourself. 

It’s rarely easy to communicate to your partner how to become a better or more dominant and sensual lover.

 Women generally can’t and don’t want to teach their partner how to have sex with them or give them the emotional piece that’s missing from so many relationships today

If you’re going through anything like this, or if you’re unsure of what to do next in the intimacy department, we can do some good work together. I am very well versed in all traditional and non-traditional relationships and come equipped to handle all level of desires with regards to sexual interactions. 

It’s interesting that it’s almost always the woman who is ready for more, wants to do more, can handle, more in Closeness sessions!  Yes, sometimes you may be dealing with an emotional block, or feeling stuck in your head, but often it’s the male partner who is doing or not doing something that prevents intimacy. 

From my heart to yours, please know that sessions don’t need to be all about sex! You can come in to process, to work through things, get life coaching, express your sexual desires, or simply get some things off your chest.  You have to feel safe, comfortable AND excited to feel ready for sex.  I specialize in helping you get there. 

Finally, sometimes women carry wounding or pain that makes sexual play or opening up feel difficult. You want to get closer and want to open up to your partner but your body shuts down or you get stuck in your head. I can help you or both of you learn how to be with your body in a soothing way that gets your needs met and doesn’t feel compromising.  It is possible to work through these issues gently and it gets results.  It’s even possible to do it playfully or in a fun and charming way that makes you smile and dare I say even gets you aroused, without getting triggered!


Do you stay or do you go?

Have you discovered some intimate texts or communication from someone outside of your relationship?

Or is it an affair that has been going on for years and the lying has devastated you to the core of your being?

Before we can even begin to restore what has been damaged, we need to discover what’s true.  Do you actually want to stay together? Are you open to restoring trust with your partner?

These answers may seem obvious, but they aren’t easy to answer. Not when love, family, status, lifestyle and children are involved. I will personally help you discover what is real and true so that you can make choices that serve your relationship or I can help separate you in a safe and respectful way. 

Finally, for those dealing with cheating: At the basis of betrayal is a secret arrangement.  Discovering your partners secret or indiscretions can be the most devastating experience of your life.  Whether you choose to remain together or not, I offer gentle guidance to get you through one of the most treacherous chapters of your life.  If both people are onboard, we can begin to infuse love, trust and intimacy back into the relationship. Or I can help you respectfully and safely part ways. The famous “conscious uncoupling” if you will. Whichever direction we go, I will be with you both each step of the way. 



Curious about a 3 some or sex party but don’t want to ruin your relationship? Curious about exploring some LIGHT BDSM or being restrained? We can talk about it safely here and explore all the options. 

If you’ve been involved or are currently involved in the sex work industry, such as Only Fans, Fansly, Many Vids or you in the porn scene, I have the experience to help you navigate your intimate or romantic life outside of all that. 

If monogamy doesn’t feel right for both of you I’ve got the expertise and wisdom to make transitions easy and sometimes even fun. 

Maybe you want to move from being poly to being monogamous or the other way around. Does sex work have you feeling shut down or turned off to real-life intimacy and you want to awaken that part of you again? Maybe your choice of partners has been less than ideal and you want to learn to be treated right while still getting your sexual needs met. 

If you single, I can help you get in touch with that  piece that you’re missing. If you have a partner, maybe you’d like them to understand you and your work a little better so it’s easier to connect.  The possibilities are endless to help get you back to feeling safe, heard, seen and satisfied.  

Learn how to take your female partner from being bored and unavailable to aroused and ready.

Women are very receptive when you love them and treat them the right way. Often we are convinced that you need years, or hours of work to make things better. But if both partners are open to it, I can help you shift into a better feeling place within minutes. 



As men we rarely have a safe space to get real help. How do you learn how to actually take care of your woman, get both of your needs met and keep her turned on and excited for you?  I’ve got a remarkable ability to help bring these things out, even if it is hard at first, so that you both can get what you need. The world often doesn’t understand or have time for an emotional man.

We  are expected to know. Know how to please her, seduce her, read her, love her and have all of her pleasure zones mapped out. But what if you, like most of us, never got the map or learned how to do this any of this? Where do you go for help? Closeness gives the necessary guidance to help get her turned on by YOU and YOUR touch, in real time, so that you can be more effective and powerful in the bedroom.

Through respectful and tasteful sexual guidance, communication and demos, you will go home with a new skillset that will allow you to be more sensual, sexual and emotionally available on the first night of your appointment. Due to the nature of how sexual attraction works, I see all men with their female partner present at first so they can see the results.

How will you know it works? Because you’ll watch her respond favorably to you, right before your eyes. 

Sex, dominate, presence, assertiveness, passion, intimacy and communication: These are a learned set of skills. It doesn’t have to be as daunting as you’ve made it out to be in your head. Everyone needs this kind of help.  If you are the kind of man who can put his ego, or “alpha” mentality to the side, I’ve got some great surprises in store for you that you’re going to love. If you can be  open to learning a new skill, and be willing to put in the work, you will  have a partner who respects you more and wants to follow your lead. 

 In many ways you will learn how to become the man you want to be




Would you agree that it’s hard to name one place that a woman can go, to safely get to know her erotic side better?  Without feeling the pressure of more? More expectations. More than she’s ready for. More confusion. Where can you go to try things out and see if you like them and be able to say, YES please or NO, it’s not for me?  Maybe for the daring, this can be done at certain types of parties or events but that can often feel a little too exposed.  Even the idea of anyone else wanting more from you when you’re not ready is uncomfortable to say the least.   

But what if you could have an experience that moves at your own pace?  What if someone could help you get out of your head, feel more relaxed and allow some  excitement and curiosity to circulate through you, but without pressure?  Can you imagine having an experience that is assertively lead by a present man, but on YOUR terms with the ability to always say, “let’s stop here,” or “please go a little further?”

I have found over the years that many women seem to lead a double life. They WANT to get to know themselves sexually and yearn for it. They hope that it will happen to them. But they don’t know HOW to go about doing it. In fact, many expect that their partner will just figure it all out for them. But then in their every day life, it’s about being mom, getting through the day, or finishing your work.  

If you want to explore more there are two ways to do it. First, if you have a partner, you can bring them to session and I can respectfully guide you together to explore what works and help your partner clearly see what turns you on and what does not. We work though verbal and non verbal communication, eye contact, distance, approach, and we un-layer all of those irritating things and personality quirks that get in the way of passionate intimacy. 

 If you don’t have a partner, you are welcome to come in on your own too and get enormous benefit. Moment to moment we’ll consensually build a series of demos, explorations and interactions together that help you understand yourself better.  Increasing the temperature bit by bit, while always having the option to say, that’s good, I’m satiated!”

Please note that if you are interested in this kind of solo work, it’s important for you to be a responsible and accountable woman. Someone who is ready to make choices for herself, and who can say, “Yes! I am consciously choosing this for myself. I want this and I want to figure this part of my life out.” Please feel free to call or text with any further questions.